I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Damn victory sex feels great
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
