like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
