she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize