Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
