Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
