Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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