the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I need a beard to bite.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
