Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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