my shit smells like andre
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
