please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
