I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
