i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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