Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize