Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
