i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
