i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
