Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
