Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
