Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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