I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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