like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
