found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize