We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She's the barista slut.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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