At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
