My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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