Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
now i know why i became what i already was.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
