Don't make out with my wife yet
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
