Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize