The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
