I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
