I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
