Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
