I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
