You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
