I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize