There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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