My liver just broke up with me...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
