I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
