I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Randomize
