No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
