By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
