I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
