Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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