yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
