im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
