I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
