i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
