Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
