y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
