College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Randomize
