he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
