Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize