mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
