I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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