That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
