why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
