The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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