you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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