I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize