I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
